About Me

I live in Texas. I've been married for 15 years, to the the greatest husband ever. I have 2 wonderful kids, S-12yrs. & N-9yrs. I'm a breast cancer survivor that was diagnosed @ the age of 28. I love spending time with my family, preferably outdoors. I have 3 dogs, Abby, Izzy, & Georgia who I absolutely adore. I am a nurse & currently taking care of sisters in their home. A job which I love very much. I can't complain, I've got a pretty great life.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Funny Realization......

I don't usually post things like this but... This morning on the radio the DJ was talking about how most people who are funny are that way b/c it's a coping mechanism. He said that the reason he is funny is b/c he had a very difficult childhood. This got me to thinking. I think most people consider me to be funny, & although I didn't have the worst childhood, it wasn't all picket fences & fresh baked cookies either. My mom & dad divorced when I was 9 & although we have a great relationship now, my dad wasn't the best father @ the time.
The breakup really did shock me. Most kids know that there's trouble, but really I didn't. My mom was great. I don't know how she did it. My dad on the other hand waited MAYBE 2 months to introduce us to his girlfriend who I later found out was the woman he cheated on my mom with. It was very difficult as he slowly lost interest in seeing us & we were replaced with his "new" family. On the weekends when we did go visit it was parties, alcohol, & I'm sure drugs (although I never saw any). Some nights I could hear my dad & step mom beating the hell out of each other in the other room. They weren't always very nice to me & my sister either.
My dad didn't help my mom with child support either. Which gave my mom leverage. She was tired of us coming home from his house upset so she told him to either pay up or give up rights to us. That way we would only have to see him if we wanted to. That was probably what hurt the most. He agreed to terminate his parental rights. Which meant we no longer had a dad, legally.
My mom had remarried when I was @ 11 & he adopted me when I was 15. Things changed w/my dad @ the same time. He divorced my step mom & we slowly rebuilt our relationship. It took a long time to trust him but now we are very close & I love him very much. So now I'm lucky, I have 2 dads.
I was thinking about all of this tonight when I realized that my kids are almost the same age as my sis & I were when all of that started. I cannot imagine my kids having to go through something like that. I see N & think WOW, I was that little during all that.
Over the years I seemed to do OK, but my sister didn't cope very well with it all. She made some pretty bad decisions & b/c of that, our relationship suffered. She is doing great now though. She's really turned her life around & I'm very proud of her. We have become close again & I feel a hole has been filled.
Now, back to the funny. I have no doubt that comedy helped me through infertility & cancer. Some of the jokes that I cracked @ them would get a laugh but it was usually followed by a sad "Oh, Stef", as if I shouldn't be joking @ such difficult things. That also got me thinking about my earliest childhood memory of being funny. It was @ the same time all of that stuff w/my parents was happening. I was with my 2 cousins & I was doing this whole comedy routine that was cracking them up, the routine was @ my parents. Maybe that's when the funny started.
OK, I know that post was a little deep for a funny girl. It was just a bunch of realizations that I made today.

2 comments:

*Jennifer* said...

Stef- i had tears rolling down my face half way thru this. i wish noone had to go thru this in their life, but it has made you the person you are today and i am so glad for that. i am glad comedy is your crutch and not being a b*tch! love you!

Stef said...

That's very sweet Jenn. Thanx, I love U too.